i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
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Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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