I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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