yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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