he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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