If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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