I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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