Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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