I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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