i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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