Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize