Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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