So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
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