I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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