she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
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well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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