Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize