Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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