there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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