glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
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The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
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I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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