the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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