Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize