why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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