So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
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we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
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i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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