Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
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Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
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It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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