God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize