Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
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i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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