So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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