I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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