she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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