Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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