OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
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It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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