okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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