I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
