I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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