I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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