How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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