Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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