I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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