Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
well you can't waste a boner
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
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Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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