how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
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Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
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I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You left your phone here
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