What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize