He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize