You're so nebulous sometimes
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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