she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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