Duck Duck Cougar?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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