Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Randomize
