Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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