Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize