I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
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I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
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No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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