So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
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My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I have tasted many bathrooms
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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