im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
there is glitter all over my balls
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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