Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize